My friend Clare caused me great psychological distress today. I think I need therapy to re-repress the frightening childhood memories that she caused me to recall this evening.

Here’s the scene:

I am unwinding on the couch with my laptop after an exceedingly long day of handling mindbogglingly epic crises for a couple clients. I’m drinking an Abita Amber and browsing through the feeds of my friends’ blogs when I run across THIS POST in which she (quite rightfully) rips on this awful French sketch series from the old Nickelodeon classic Pinwheel.

Your next mental image could be one of me wiping beer off the screen of my precious MacBook Pro.

This series always has, and always will, CREEP ME THE FUCK OUT. It’s probably more responsible for scaring me away from psychedelic drugs in college than the D.A.R.E. program in elementary school ever could have been. Seriously, these little buggers freak the bajeezus out of me.

Enfants du maïs, I tell you.

Clare is right — this abomination interrupted an otherwise delightful morning kids’ show. My little sister and I watched it nearly every summer weekday for several years starting in the early 80s. It was one of those shows that young kids enjoyed, and older kids really didn’t mind. It translated pretty well across age groups — the music was especially addictive. (At least, it was for me.)

I especially loved Bill Cosby’s “Picture Pages,” a segment that he did when he wasn’t busy filming Jell-O Pudding Pop commercials. My other favorite was “Simon in the Land of the Chalk Drawings,” a segment that was heavily drawn upon (right down to the intro song melody) for a series of Mike Myers SNL skits years later. If you yourself don’t remember it, check this out:

I wish I could find a video of the SNL bit, but NBC has erased nearly all evidence of it from the interwebs. This picture will have to suffice to jog your memory:

But seriously … those freaking French goblin children. I hope I can sleep tonight.

Thanks a friggin’ lot, Clare.


Clare · 20 March 2008 at 8:15 AM

Sorry dude. It really was the But Picture Pages was the bomb!

seeamap · 20 March 2008 at 8:47 PM

Remember the gyspy Aurelia? My friends would give each other titty twisters, giggle and uhhhhh inhale every time characters called her by name. Yep what scared little kids made for fabulous “party” games. so sad. My guess is that some day trippin’ hippy probably laughed all the way to the bank.

Mom · 21 March 2008 at 9:44 AM

Don’t you think that Simon was just a less colorful, version of Harold and the Purple Crayon? Thanks Bo – now I’m stuck with those songs replaying over and over in my poor NASCAR-drugged brain – “Picture pages, picture pages; You know my name is Simon . . . . “

Comments are closed.